I fight for everyone who can’t. I fight for those that when they try, are looked at and told “you’ve got balls” by someone shaking their head in quiet mocking. I fight for those that lived in fear. I fight for everyone who’s ever been held back by others, smashed down among the dirt and told they can’t possibly be strong. I fight not because I can, but because I’ve been told I can’t.
I keep being told that public venting is a horrid idea. Honestly, I’ve been experimenting with it the past several weeks, and it’s been a so-so response. Many times, I keep thinking that it’s the best way, and other times, I realize it hasn’t worked out my way. I sort of have stopped caring either way, and am learning to deal with the issue.
Anyway, if you haven’t heard at this point, I am participating in an amateur mixed martial arts fight on October 29th. You can find all the information about where/when all that at www.midwestcagecombat.net. Flat out, if you never expected this from me, surprise!
Given the fact that this is a public blog, I suppose it will eventually get around to my parents, who I’ve kept in the dark up to this point about it. I’ve come to realize that this is one of the last things that is holding me back in making my way to where I need to be. Sorry if you two didn’t exactly expect this to happen, but I’ve been talking about this rather quietly for three years. The opposite side to this is that things are a bit too far along to stop now, so your best bet is to be quiet and hold on for the ride. I don’t know if I’ll keep with it after this one fight. I’d honestly rather you two not be there, as I have a habit of freezing in front of you.
As for anyone that trains with me that comes across this note, if you haven’t figured it out at this point, I’m a bit expressive about everything, sometimes to the point of exaggeration. I call it an occupational hazard of being a writer, where I sometimes can’t help myself on aggrandizing stuff. I’ll be honest, this morning I woke up and swore to call it quits. You guys have me stretched way out, something I’m not entirely comfortable with, but am happy for. I took a few days off here and there entirely off of everything because I figured that it was either quit for a day or two or quit for good. I figured a day would be less embarrassing in the long run. I don’t know if a lot of you realize this, but this is the first time in my life I’ve ever been an athlete of any stripe. It’s the first time I’ve really spent more than a week in a really male-dominated group too. I’m not just fighting a weight cut, but an entirely new way of living that goes beyond physical grounds. This is literally all uncharted territory for me, right down to the fact that I’m strapping gloves on six times a week, let alone the fact that I can run for more than a minute without getting winded.
Obviously, I’ve decided not to quit. At this point, I’d look like an idiot to the practically innumerable people I’ve told that this was happening to. Guilt monkeys abound, and I’m glad for them. I’d ask though, that if any of you do wind up reading this, if you wouldn’t mind helping me a little more on the diet bit than just “watch what you’re eating”. I’m fairly intelligent, but damn am I lacking in the common sense department, especially if my habit of relying on coin flips is any indication.
At this point, there is no question in my mind that I’ve already won. Where I’m from socially says this shouldn’t happen. Medically, this is a horrible idea. Spiritually, I should probably be elsewhere. Against all that, I’ve gotten this far. Three more weeks is nothing.
This poor bastard that’s going to be locked in a cage with me is nothing. Even if I do lose the fight, I’ve still won in my mind. No one can ever take the fact away that I’ve gotten this far away from me. I swear the guy won’t walk straight or have a coherent thought for at least a weak afterwards.
So, Mazeltov, Team Fusion. Congrats Eric, thanks Jeremy, this has been one hell of a ride so far, and it sure as hell isn’t over.
I keep being told that public venting is a horrid idea. Honestly, I’ve been experimenting with it the past several weeks, and it’s been a so-so response. Many times, I keep thinking that it’s the best way, and other times, I realize it hasn’t worked out my way. I sort of have stopped caring either way, and am learning to deal with the issue.
Anyway, if you haven’t heard at this point, I am participating in an amateur mixed martial arts fight on October 29th. You can find all the information about where/when all that at www.midwestcagecombat.net. Flat out, if you never expected this from me, surprise!
Given the fact that this is a public blog, I suppose it will eventually get around to my parents, who I’ve kept in the dark up to this point about it. I’ve come to realize that this is one of the last things that is holding me back in making my way to where I need to be. Sorry if you two didn’t exactly expect this to happen, but I’ve been talking about this rather quietly for three years. The opposite side to this is that things are a bit too far along to stop now, so your best bet is to be quiet and hold on for the ride. I don’t know if I’ll keep with it after this one fight. I’d honestly rather you two not be there, as I have a habit of freezing in front of you.
As for anyone that trains with me that comes across this note, if you haven’t figured it out at this point, I’m a bit expressive about everything, sometimes to the point of exaggeration. I call it an occupational hazard of being a writer, where I sometimes can’t help myself on aggrandizing stuff. I’ll be honest, this morning I woke up and swore to call it quits. You guys have me stretched way out, something I’m not entirely comfortable with, but am happy for. I took a few days off here and there entirely off of everything because I figured that it was either quit for a day or two or quit for good. I figured a day would be less embarrassing in the long run. I don’t know if a lot of you realize this, but this is the first time in my life I’ve ever been an athlete of any stripe. It’s the first time I’ve really spent more than a week in a really male-dominated group too. I’m not just fighting a weight cut, but an entirely new way of living that goes beyond physical grounds. This is literally all uncharted territory for me, right down to the fact that I’m strapping gloves on six times a week, let alone the fact that I can run for more than a minute without getting winded.
Obviously, I’ve decided not to quit. At this point, I’d look like an idiot to the practically innumerable people I’ve told that this was happening to. Guilt monkeys abound, and I’m glad for them. I’d ask though, that if any of you do wind up reading this, if you wouldn’t mind helping me a little more on the diet bit than just “watch what you’re eating”. I’m fairly intelligent, but damn am I lacking in the common sense department, especially if my habit of relying on coin flips is any indication.
At this point, there is no question in my mind that I’ve already won. Where I’m from socially says this shouldn’t happen. Medically, this is a horrible idea. Spiritually, I should probably be elsewhere. Against all that, I’ve gotten this far. Three more weeks is nothing.
This poor bastard that’s going to be locked in a cage with me is nothing. Even if I do lose the fight, I’ve still won in my mind. No one can ever take the fact away that I’ve gotten this far away from me. I swear the guy won’t walk straight or have a coherent thought for at least a weak afterwards.
So, Mazeltov, Team Fusion. Congrats Eric, thanks Jeremy, this has been one hell of a ride so far, and it sure as hell isn’t over.
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